Christmas Fruitcakes ... and Resolutions.

Who doesn’t like a present? Whether it’s Christmas, a birthday or an unplanned, unexpected celebration, we all love to receive and open gifts. My wife and I (quite independent of each other) have a small stash of gift items that we can call on, when visiting or have guests in. It is just nice to go ‘with something in hand’ … or to extend when we have friends over.

Now in fairness to Joy (Mrs. Rick) … she is an artist and always has a beautiful inventory of her own work to share with folks. Mine will be thoughtful, but a purchase or branded bling that I can share … but I have never had anyone be anything other than very gracious on receipt. That got me wondering this last week when I encountered this piece of seasonal research on the ‘fruitcake.’

A recent survey of Christmas gifts discovered that the fruitcake was chosen by 31% of respondents as the worst holiday gift. That even surpassed “no gift at all!” When asked how to dispose of such a gift, 30% indicated they would hide it in a closet, 21% would return it and 19% would give it away. My math indicates that leaves an additional 30% unaccounted for … or their response couldn’t be printed?

The season aside … when I saw the title Christmas Fruitcake … what came to mind was the behavior of those in the news and in the scripts of the commentary talking heads. In no way is this limited to the party leadership debates of our cousins south of the border. It can be attributed to the rants of dictators … be they domestic, corporate or foreign heads of failing states.

However regrettable, it seems our Fruitcake inventory has some common characteristics;

A critical spirit.
The absence of critical thinking.
Emotionally, very unhealthy.
Living in a state of cultural offense, while
Demonstrating little ability (or appetite) to actually lead by (wait for it …) Example.

Maybe in this season of ‘Good Will Toward Men’ … we could model the virtues and cultural values we say we believe and look for in others. I suspect if you are not a leader in the public arena you are at home.

I was recently given a gift of a book by a colleague, written by an evangelical christian (very small 'c') ‘leader.’ After three chapters of bile, railing against those who couldn’t share his uninformed opinions … I put it in the bookcase until I can decide what to do with it. To say it was / is offensive is an understatement … and you would likely know the authors name if I shared it. (I won’t). When I think of Christmas Fruitcake … it’s these guys who quickly come to mind.

While we are in the season of considering New Year’s Resolutions … could we please put some intentional time & space between ‘stimulus & response?’ It requires a little emotional health to accomplish … but it was Eleanor Roosevelt who would remind us that “No one can insult me without my permission”.

Let’s take our time, and provide a thoughtful, considered response. No one is saying you are not entitled to an opinion, you are. But if the best response you have is one that is divisive, insulting or lacking in understanding of what your counterpart’s positions is (whether you have an informed one or not) … then for the sake of our air quality, consider no response at all. Two old axioms come to mind here that I learned from my mentor at the end of a fishing pole:

1. It is far better to have been silent and thought a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. And,
2. You have the (hard earned and graciously granted) liberty to be wrong. You do not have the liberty to do wrong.

So … as we (re)consider our position on the value of the seasonal fruitcake … let’s all take a slice, pour something satisfying … and think through a considered, intelligent, thoughtful response. One of which may be ... no response.

From my house to yours ... I wish you a very Merry Christmas, and a Healthy,Safe and Prosperous New Year.

Blessings;

Rick@RMI

Posted By: Rick Kneeshaw 2011/12/18
Categories: Reflections: Lessons Learned

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