Resource Management Innovations

Befriend Silence: Part I

Yeah. So … how is that consistent with ‘Listen to The Music’?

I thought I would volunteer that before you asked it. It’s a fair question. Yeah. There’s a fair answer. Toss this around for a bit. There is a measure of noise and clutter in the world that at times exceeds our tolerance and capacity for it. It’s a noisy place, and all that is noise … does not necessarily have a discernable decibel level. Noise and clutter are all that stuff that will get in your way (mentally & physically) and begs your attention. Versus … (here’s the tricky bit) … that which requires your attention. My contention is, a lot of distraction we foist on ourselves.



It seems the Do Not Call List that our Privacy Commission (North of the 49th) has implemented, has all but taken care of pesky telemarketers. That was helpful. I think it serves as a good example. So, what other checks & balances could we put in place (ourselves) to take care of our unwelcomed interruptions?

The point is, the noise and clutter of the world need to (at least) be interrupted in order for you … to hear your music. In order for us to even recognize it, we have to be able to give voice to it, in order that it is heard. Sometimes that is a literal exercise, sometimes figurative. What they share in common is that we must be intentional about it.

Folks that have some practice with it seem to share some common denominators. Here are a few to season your thinking:

WHY
You need a compelling reason for it. Sufficient that will allow you license. Sometimes in a busy life we need to give ourselves permission to stop. Be quiet. And as our friends from the 60’s would say, “listen to the sound of silence”. Something that a lot of folks find quite frightening. A state of peace and grace really does preclude noise and clutter … and for that we need an appetite to escape. As my motivational theory prof would say … I really gotta wanna. We need not always go that far … but far enough that we feel as though we have sufficient separation … so at some point we may ‘return’. Part of my reason is and was my training, my mentor did it. He had a plan and a practice where he frequently went to the mountains, alone, to pray. I have been blessed with having quick and easy access to Kananaskis. Some of the most beautiful country on the Alberta side of the Rocky Mountains. I have the latitude to get away for a day or an afternoon frequently … and seasonally for a few days at a time. Because our emotional health directly affects our physical health and well being … befriending silence can be very healthful.

WHAT
Folks that have some success with practicing something as a routine, typically have a discipline that they follow. If we use practicing an instrument as an example … there is usually a time of day involved, maybe a special room in the house where you can be salted away from distraction (and you from them!) … and to make certain you have the materials you are going to need. Sometimes the task of being alone, still and quiet is disquieting in itself. All I’m suggesting is that befriending silence … usually means that we are alone and still. If that is foreign … it will be awkward at first. (Remember, it's resistance training that builds strength).

How
There are routines that I have gotten into, simply because they work for me. That routine I try and replicate wherever I am. It may be my office, a hotel room or a campsite I have established in the back country. Have you ever sat, eyes fixed on a campfire and wonder what our fascination is with fire? It is usually a very comforting feeling, and folks are often very quiet and contemplative around a fire. Now I can’t build a camp fire in my office, but I have a found a candle works just fine. It’s a matter of scope & scale. Because my retreat time is early in the morning … the flame from the candle has the same effect. What I have found consistent throughout scripture as I read, study, contemplate and pray … is that all throughout history, fire has served a very valuable purpose. It has been a sign of sovereign presence. Give that one some thought. Be it a flickering tongue of fire or a blazing bush. Fire has been very centering for us. For me it brings great peace. You?

When
Like a painter or a musician (because I happen to live with both) I find I get irritable if my frequency is neglected. I can literally feel an absence from my quiet time. The empty tank seems to have a cumulative effect when left unchecked. Although I do strive for daily … I have to tell you … it doesn’t always work out that way. Where and when I can (which really is most days) … I actually schedule it in. Because being with my friend ‘silence’ is so important to me … I find that life can really ratchet out of control if I leave my priorities to others to accommodate. While … no one has ever said to me that what they want is more important than my morning study. Normally what happens is I miss it because I couldn’t get out of bed. Yeah. In my fifth decade … I still struggle with pushing out from under a warm duvet on a cold morning.

With Whom
Simple. Alone. I don’t think we need much of a formula for ‘befriending silence’ … when it comes to whom should I be spending this time with. Nuff said?

Where
Well, I have been blessed. I have a way cool office I can physically retreat to. I always have. Regardless of how small our accommodation has been, dad has always had a corner. Something. You need a place where you can go (that works for you) … in all seasons, and maybe that will need to coincide with When. Maybe your abode just can’t afford dedicated space. That’s OK. Mine didn’t always. Maybe that just means that a corner has to be free for you … and that means when everybody else is sleeping? I don’t know. You do … just be intentional about it.



Because I choose an early morning quiet time, when I can befriend silence, centre my thinking … study and pray, I have found that it really does frame up my day. I think most of us by now have heard the messaging about being disciplined about ‘what we put in our bodies’. Most if not all of that messaging has been food and mouth related. There is a great aversion it seems regarding mental health and spiritual well being … although we have become much more aware of our spiritual being in recent years. Not so much its well being though … and how to nurture and care for it. I hope we can discuss that here? Wellness has SO much more to it than whole grains.

Here is a thought. Are we equally disciplined about what we put into our heads? TV. Drive time radio. Newspapers … do they communicate a healthy message? Well I have lived and worked in every major market in North America … and I am here to tell you that media is big business, and if it bleeds it leads. Good news doesn’t sell. So … I have to be very careful (and intentional … sorry, couldn’t help it) about what I feed my mind. I just can’t leave that decision to someone else. How do you nourish your spirit? Have you given that much thought? You have one right? It gets depleted? How do you top it up … with the spiritual equivalent of whole grains?



Our culture does not seem to have much of an appetite for that conversation … until we crash. That seems a tad late for me? We’ll chat about pro-active emotional health and wellness in subsequent blogs so check back. For now … your homework is to consider the W5 we have taken above in Befriending Silence. If for no other reason … than to bring some balance and order into this world of clutter and noise. Peace and Grace be yours.

Cheers;

Rick @ RMI
 

Posted By: Rick Kneeshaw 2010/07/17
Categories: Reflections: Lessons Learned